This little piggy stayed home.

Okay so right out of the gate let me say to my loyal subscribers, “I’m sorry!”. I know, 4 months is a long interval between posts. I have reasons: Holidays, met someone, work, broke up, lazy. When I say lazy, I don’t mean I have been lazy in the kitchen, just lazy about the blog. I will try to do better I promise.

Now on to the makeup/apology post. It’s a big one.

Last summer I read a book many of you might have read. “The Omnivore's Dilemma” by Michael Pollan. It completely changed the way I think about food and where it SHOULD come from. So I started looking for farmers locally, that could supply me with the sustainably raised meat and vegetables I had read about.
I was sooooooo damn lucky too.

One Saturday morning this past Autumn I met a disciple of Joel Salatin, the very farmer profiled in “The Omnivore's Dilemma”, the farmer I had admired for his farming methods.

Weldon Hawkins was the embodiment of the farmer I was looking for. Passionate about being sustainable, and the treatment and health of his animals. I immediately became a fan of his products. Pork, chicken, eggs, beef and lamb, all raised on the verdant pastures of Emerald Glen Farm.

BUT! There is always a but.
But there was still a disconnect from the food. Eggs came in neat little cartons, pork and beef came in neatly wrapped packages, already frozen. Sausage was already spiced, mixed and stuffed. The only difference from the grocery store was that the person selling the meat was knowing the guy that raised it. Major difference I know, but I wanted more connection.

So what to do…? Well turns out Weldon is super cool and didn’t give me the “Are you barking mad?” look when I asked about the possibility of buying a hog on the hoof and processing it myself. Yeah you read that right. I meant to do ALL the work. A to Z. So to prove just how cool he is Weldon said that it might be possible to do the processing on the farm. After a check with other concerned parties, he came back with affirmative response. I slapped down my deposit right then and there. I was gonna slaughter a pig…?

OH SHIT!!! What had I gotten myself into? I had a couple of months to contemplate it.

Dateline March 09 – Idiot goes to KY to collect his pig!
The night before I packed up everything I thought I would need — knives, pans, towels, bell scraper, zip top bags, propane torch, work tables, .22 pistol and last but not least my courage. I set the alarm for 5am and trundled off to bed.

I was up and actually out the door by 6am as planned. Weldon had informed me that the farm was a solid hour and forty five minutes from my house, and he wasn’t pulling my leg. 2 hours after hitting the road I turned onto the farm driveway and had to brake to avoid a trio of lambs bouncing across the drive. I wish I had taken a pic of the sheep but I was a little preoccupied with the impending task.

Weldon was already doing some farmy tasks when I pulled up and after a few minutes of organizing we started to prepare. Introductions were made. Someone was feeling shy.

She wasn’t shy for long.

She happily rooted while other preparations were made.

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!!!!!!!! – WARNING!!!!!! GRAPHIC CONTENT -- !!!!!!!!

If you haven’t figured it out by now I went to KY to actually kill and butcher the above pig. If you are disturbed by images of animals being butchered you should stop reading now. I have not photo documented the actual kill process as I have too much respect for the pig and you, dear reader.

That being said here is the rest of the process.

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Step 1: Fill a 55gal drum 3/4 full with water and set to boil, well almost boil. And the tractor was set up to lift the pig.

Step 2: Wait 2 hours for water to heat.

Step 3: Load .22 pistol

Step 4: Look pig in the eyes while trying to aim at the correct place to shoot and hope like hell that you don’t frakk it up and cause the animal undue pain.
This is where a commercial slaughter house has the advantage. They mostly use an electrocution system to effect the actual kill and there is less chance of not hitting the target.

Step 5: Try to calm down and pull the trigger… I got it right folks. I hit her in the correct spot and she slumped to the ground without making a sound. At this point I was shaking due to the massive amount of adrenaline pumping through my body.

Step 6: Stop shaking enough to cut the carotid artery so that she would bleed out.

Step 7: Wait. Calm down. Wish for a cigarette, or a shot of tequila. And not to get all spacey and new age on you but I also thanked the pig for her life. It was the least I could do.

Step 8: Carry out the rest of the butchering process.

If you grew up on a farm or in close proximity and was involved in this particular farm task, one that for most of recorded time was done on the farm, then you know that pig hair is something that needs to go before any other part of the process can take place. To that end the pig was hoisted by the tractor, rinsed off and dunked in the barrel of scalding water.

 

 

 

So after this soaking the hair is supposed to come right out. RIGHT! This is one of the more arduous tasks. Scraping the hair takes a looooooong time and a lot of energy. Luckily for me I was joined by my friend Matt who picked up a knife and jumped in to help.

For those of you who have been curious what I look like… That’s me in the blue.

I will not bore you with the 12 other images of pig scraping. Suffice it to say that we scraped for a long time. Nearly 2 hours. We even broke for lunch. Weldon’s family hosted us and it was a wonderful interlude in an otherwise stressful day for me.

Eviscerate…  Transitive verb - : to take out the entrails of

If you are a regular reader of this blog (when I get off my ass and post) you have already seen this process with the “Doe a deer” post. It’s basically the same.

Hang the animal by the legs

Rinse the carcass.

And then CAREFULLY open the belly using a wicked sharp knife.

If you aren’t careful you can cut into the the viscera, which is just as unpleasant as it sounds. Especially if you get it on you or even less pleasant, in your mouth…

One of the less enjoyable moments of the day. However the cackling laughter that surrounded me as the unseen watchers (my so called friends) peed in their pants, kept it from being too heavy a moment. Plus the fact that it was from the upper end of the GI tract made it less, EWWWish.

Much more CAREFULLY, I finished opening the body cavity.

There is a lot of stuff that has to come out of the carcass before you can get an actual recognizable cut of meat.

Kidneys

Caul fat

Heart

Liver

I have to admit as I write this post , it’s a pretty gruesome process. However I think I have a responsibility to the sow to share this with as many people as have the stomach to read it. Pork doesn’t start out on a Styrofoam tray wrapped in plastic.

In the spirit of the Nose to Tail movement that I support I removed the head for later processing.

I had help. As with every other part of this animal, the head was heavy.

Once the head was off and the sternum split I needed to make the big “draw” cut down the spine. I have a manual bone saw, and it is HARD to control. Very hard to control. So much so that if I ever do this again, my mother’s off hand comment about using a Sawzall for the task will be taken to heart.

This cut took about 10 minutes. There are 8 images but I decided the last one before the final stroke would be enough.

This is a “side” of pork.

And here is the side cut away from the ham.

From this I cut the loin, belly (bacon), lardo, shoulder (Boston Butt), picnic ham, ribs, hocks and trotters.

 

I have already started to process some of the less used parts into tasty treats.

And some of the more common parts as well. The 30lb hams have been covered in salt and are on their way to becoming salt cured ham.

I wish I had a few more pictures of the butchering process but I had my hands full at the moment and my drafted photographer was busy at other tasks. I’ll have more shots of the raw cuts when I post other processes.
On the agenda; Canadian Bacon, Salt Pork, Lardo, Roast Loin, Sugar Cured Ham, and various and sundry sausages. Boudin Noir anyone?

So, was it worth all the work? I would have to say it was. I know the details of the life of the pig in these pictures. I am even more intimately acquainted with her death. I do not feel any guilt her death. It was clean and quick and quiet.
I don’t have a single qualm about eating any part of this animal.
I have no fear of solution injected meat or high fructose corn syrup in the sausages, or hormones and antibiotics infusing the meat.
I know that the farmer who raised her is as concerned with the health of the animals he raises as he is about the health of the people who consume them.

When I sat down to a plate of bacon and eggs the following day, it was with bacon I had already cured from pigs raised by a man I trust, eggs I collected from the hens he keeps on pasture and milk so fresh it might be illegal.

In a few weeks I’ll invite some friends over for my annual “Spring Smoke”. Pork will feature prominently on the menu, ribs, handmade sausages and maybe a Canadian bacon pizza from the grill.

My friends and I will sit around eating astoundingly good food, raised by an outstanding farmer, and prepared with all the care that the ingredients deserve.

I’ll raise a glass to the fine ole girl that gave her all to the feast and know that this is the only way to eat.

Cheers

Chris

Special thanks to my guest editor for catching all the screw  ups.